1 year on and where are we now?
Well, for one we are happily living together in West Kensington, London. I am now well on my way to becoming a qualified corporate solicitor and Katya is on her way to becoming my biatch, hehe, only joking.
We have had a recent road bump which I cannot explain which nearly shattered our relationship but after all that we have both been through we have decided to move on, forgive and forget and focus on what's really important and to hold onto things that matter in your life. The truth is, without Katya I would probably be a bumbling mess and it would be extremely strange and just feel plain wrong. We have been together almost 4 years now and we have been so much.
It is extremely important to talk to the one's you love and to always tell them what is your mind. In a relationship such as ours it is important to not lie to each other about your feelings. I have found that this has been our downfall in some respects and it would have been better in the past to be open and honest with each other.
This life is a short or long one depending on you look at it, and it is extremely important to be able to talk to people about how you are feeling, whether it be a friend or a lover, you always need to express how you are feeling, nobody is alone in this life.
tina x
Monday, 6 April 2009
Saturday, 5 April 2008
3 months on......
3months on from our (my) last post - how lame are we??!!
i can say without doubt that tina and i are the lamest people at updating this thing. it's strange because i lie in bed at night and think about what i want to write here and i feel so guilty. there are people out there who look to this website for guidance and support and tina and i have just got on with our lives...so to those people we apolgise.
to be honest the reason that we've not really written on here is that we haven't had anything to report. things are the same with us. our relationship continues to go from strength to strength and although we always find new issues with each other, they are so menial and we try and work through them sensibly.
tina has moved into london which is our biggest change. it all happened so fast and she's been getting settled and into a routine which has meant little time for anything, let alone dressing and having some fun. however now we're in a routine we're starting everything back up again and let me say that I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!
we're wanting to go out asap and we need someone to tag along with so let me know if ur going out and fancy meeting up.
will report back soon lots of love xx
i can say without doubt that tina and i are the lamest people at updating this thing. it's strange because i lie in bed at night and think about what i want to write here and i feel so guilty. there are people out there who look to this website for guidance and support and tina and i have just got on with our lives...so to those people we apolgise.
to be honest the reason that we've not really written on here is that we haven't had anything to report. things are the same with us. our relationship continues to go from strength to strength and although we always find new issues with each other, they are so menial and we try and work through them sensibly.
tina has moved into london which is our biggest change. it all happened so fast and she's been getting settled and into a routine which has meant little time for anything, let alone dressing and having some fun. however now we're in a routine we're starting everything back up again and let me say that I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!
we're wanting to go out asap and we need someone to tag along with so let me know if ur going out and fancy meeting up.
will report back soon lots of love xx
Sunday, 13 January 2008
Transvestite Wives.........
Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!!
Again we've been lame at writing but busy lives get in the way. Anyway here's something to chat about......last night we have two of our greatest friends for dinner. G has known Tina in her male form for years and yearsand S is his girlfriend. Both two of the loveliest, nicest people you could ever wish to meet and this is what happens........
We were part way through our dinner when G announced that they'd seen a 'right weird programme' on tele the night before consisting of tranniesand their wives......(at this point Tina and I were inwardly choking on our fajita's...anyway).....to which led a whole conversation on how unfathomable it was and how those people are weird and desperate.....needless to say they don't know about tina
later on when we happened to flick on the programme and they were like 'this is it this is it' so we finished watching it with them. wow!!!!! some of their comments made me giggle inside, others, needless to say, didn't have the same effect. tina will agree i'm sure when i say that i'm pretty protective of her feelings, i'm quite willing to openly stand my ground and stand up for her and am quite happy to put people, whoever they may be, in their place but what could i do?????
listening to them openly say how weird that lifestyle was and how it's wrong, that there are deeper psychological issues at play i didn't get wound up i just felt a bit sad, and pretty worried that tina would be upset by what they had said.
haha how funny it would be though if they now found out about tina, there was me sat there being all riled up and saying that i'd definitely go out with a tranny and that it was amazingly cool whilst they looked at me opened mouthed and whilst stud was burning daggers into my soul because i wouldn't shut up! i mean how mortified would they be if they now found out that one of their closest friends is a tranny and that his girlfriend quite happily shags him while he's dressed as a woman??!!!!!!!!
I know for a fact that should they ever find out nothing would change in our relationship with them, G would get on with it and probably think it was cool once the shock had worn off and S would give me a look of dismay before giggling and feeling very guilty that she'd behaved so inappropriately when we watched 'that tranny programme' and that's the point i guess.......
my conclusions one might say, are that what people think before something happens and then how they behave after it are two completely different things. they'd never not be friends with us because for all sense and purposes we're still the same people. when others understand that the person they love was a tranny when they fell in love with them and that nothing in their being has changed and they're never going to change why would anyone not want to still love you? i think i'm probably being naive and that there are a million people out there who wouldn't think quite so laterally but seriously those people do not have enough adequate brain cells to think laterally and those are the people in the world who, by darwin's process of 'natural selection', we want to weed out!
Again we've been lame at writing but busy lives get in the way. Anyway here's something to chat about......last night we have two of our greatest friends for dinner. G has known Tina in her male form for years and yearsand S is his girlfriend. Both two of the loveliest, nicest people you could ever wish to meet and this is what happens........
We were part way through our dinner when G announced that they'd seen a 'right weird programme' on tele the night before consisting of tranniesand their wives......(at this point Tina and I were inwardly choking on our fajita's...anyway).....to which led a whole conversation on how unfathomable it was and how those people are weird and desperate.....needless to say they don't know about tina
later on when we happened to flick on the programme and they were like 'this is it this is it' so we finished watching it with them. wow!!!!! some of their comments made me giggle inside, others, needless to say, didn't have the same effect. tina will agree i'm sure when i say that i'm pretty protective of her feelings, i'm quite willing to openly stand my ground and stand up for her and am quite happy to put people, whoever they may be, in their place but what could i do?????
listening to them openly say how weird that lifestyle was and how it's wrong, that there are deeper psychological issues at play i didn't get wound up i just felt a bit sad, and pretty worried that tina would be upset by what they had said.
haha how funny it would be though if they now found out about tina, there was me sat there being all riled up and saying that i'd definitely go out with a tranny and that it was amazingly cool whilst they looked at me opened mouthed and whilst stud was burning daggers into my soul because i wouldn't shut up! i mean how mortified would they be if they now found out that one of their closest friends is a tranny and that his girlfriend quite happily shags him while he's dressed as a woman??!!!!!!!!
I know for a fact that should they ever find out nothing would change in our relationship with them, G would get on with it and probably think it was cool once the shock had worn off and S would give me a look of dismay before giggling and feeling very guilty that she'd behaved so inappropriately when we watched 'that tranny programme' and that's the point i guess.......
my conclusions one might say, are that what people think before something happens and then how they behave after it are two completely different things. they'd never not be friends with us because for all sense and purposes we're still the same people. when others understand that the person they love was a tranny when they fell in love with them and that nothing in their being has changed and they're never going to change why would anyone not want to still love you? i think i'm probably being naive and that there are a million people out there who wouldn't think quite so laterally but seriously those people do not have enough adequate brain cells to think laterally and those are the people in the world who, by darwin's process of 'natural selection', we want to weed out!
Monday, 3 December 2007
hello everyone
hello everyone,
i'm so sorry that Tina and I have been so rubbish at writing on here we've just been crazily busy with work, however many a night have i led in bed thinking of all the things that i wanted to say.
The last blog that I posted Tina thought, and actually so did I, that it was a bit of a 'downer'. I didn't mean it to be but I wanted to be honest. I want everyone who's reading it to realise that I didn't take it as well as I could have at first, I was hurt, angry, confused but once we'd worked it out I was fine. I hoped it might be comforting.
Anyway to add to the story I remember the first time that I saw Tina with make-up on. When I first foudn out about Tina I think we both took things a bit too fast, Tina wanted me to see her with make-up on and the full whack but it was hard. I saw Tina with make-up on and I've never told her but it really freaked me out. I felt guilty as hell but it made me realise that if I wanted to progress and really embrace who Tina was I needed to tell her that I needed to slow down. When I first told her hse didn't understand and took it as a rejection on my part but it wasn't, I just needed to do it for the both of us and for our relationship. Our relationship is the most important thing in my life, I can't describe what she means to me because nothing I can say will truly do how I feel any justice, and when we started to take things at my pace we made really good progress and within no time at all I wanted to see Tina fully dresses.
Wow I remember that time. She took ages getting ready while I hid under the bed covers like a loser. When she was ready I couldn't even bring the covers from my eyes, I was so scared and in fits of nervous laughter. I feel so guilty now but I just giggled...she looked amazing. It was crazy when she came over the kiss me, stroking hair when i'd stroke his neck and having hair in my face and lipgloss on her lips. I was awestruck and filled with pride. I can't even explain it. I think that night was the first time we made love as two 'females'.
Since then Tina has dressed on and off, when she wants to it's cool with me. I prefer it if I know about it but I can't say that I'd be too disappointed to be greeted at the door by my girlfriend instead of my boyfriend. To be honest I love Tina and often it's me who instigates her dressing although she never takes much persuading!!
Hmmmm ok I think that's enough for tonight, hopefully Tina and I will put a video of us together with hints and tips on make-up and stuff and i want tina to hurry up and write some stuff and maybe answer in some way what I've wrote. I'd like to know as much as everyone the way she felt at this time in our lives.
i'm so sorry that Tina and I have been so rubbish at writing on here we've just been crazily busy with work, however many a night have i led in bed thinking of all the things that i wanted to say.
The last blog that I posted Tina thought, and actually so did I, that it was a bit of a 'downer'. I didn't mean it to be but I wanted to be honest. I want everyone who's reading it to realise that I didn't take it as well as I could have at first, I was hurt, angry, confused but once we'd worked it out I was fine. I hoped it might be comforting.
Anyway to add to the story I remember the first time that I saw Tina with make-up on. When I first foudn out about Tina I think we both took things a bit too fast, Tina wanted me to see her with make-up on and the full whack but it was hard. I saw Tina with make-up on and I've never told her but it really freaked me out. I felt guilty as hell but it made me realise that if I wanted to progress and really embrace who Tina was I needed to tell her that I needed to slow down. When I first told her hse didn't understand and took it as a rejection on my part but it wasn't, I just needed to do it for the both of us and for our relationship. Our relationship is the most important thing in my life, I can't describe what she means to me because nothing I can say will truly do how I feel any justice, and when we started to take things at my pace we made really good progress and within no time at all I wanted to see Tina fully dresses.
Wow I remember that time. She took ages getting ready while I hid under the bed covers like a loser. When she was ready I couldn't even bring the covers from my eyes, I was so scared and in fits of nervous laughter. I feel so guilty now but I just giggled...she looked amazing. It was crazy when she came over the kiss me, stroking hair when i'd stroke his neck and having hair in my face and lipgloss on her lips. I was awestruck and filled with pride. I can't even explain it. I think that night was the first time we made love as two 'females'.
Since then Tina has dressed on and off, when she wants to it's cool with me. I prefer it if I know about it but I can't say that I'd be too disappointed to be greeted at the door by my girlfriend instead of my boyfriend. To be honest I love Tina and often it's me who instigates her dressing although she never takes much persuading!!
Hmmmm ok I think that's enough for tonight, hopefully Tina and I will put a video of us together with hints and tips on make-up and stuff and i want tina to hurry up and write some stuff and maybe answer in some way what I've wrote. I'd like to know as much as everyone the way she felt at this time in our lives.
Thursday, 1 November 2007
just to add......
i know it's really late and way way past my bedtime but i've been out at a conference with work and have only just had the opportunity to listen to Tina's awesome video hehe.
I just wanted to add a few things from a Partner's perspective.
Firstly in light of what Tina said about initiating some kind of conversation on TS if you see something on TV for example, whilst I totally agree that this is a really good thing to do in terms of getting a very general indication of how your partner feels it's not the best indication. Tina said that I 'gave mixed remarks' and I probably did but it's very hard to be asked a question, and to answer honestly, when you have never known a TS/TV/TG person. I mean what type of answer is a good answer?? Maybe I'll ask Tina what I should have said!!??
From a partner's point of view, and from yours, finding out that somebody whom you thought you knew isn't quite that person anymore is really really hard. You can run, Tina gave me that opportunity, or you can stay but you can't make that decision up on the spot.
It might help for you to know how I reacted, because believe me it wasn't brilliant. I hope Tina doesn't get upset when she reads this as I don't know if I've ever told her much of this or if I have how much she has listened to (just because he likes to be a she doesn't mean that she listens anymore than Mr Joe Bloggs, she's very male when it comes to the amount of things I tell her that she actually listens to i.e. she hears sod all)!! Anyway here goes:
When Tina told me that she wanted to dress blah blah blah I was shocked. I cried. I had a barrage of questions that need immediate answers and as far as I was concerned she was pretty low on the food chain at that point. I was hurt, confused beyond belief, upset, shocked, sad, insecure, and very angry. I was angry with her for taking away what I had, for taking away the man I wanted to marry and giving me a tranny in return. I was grieving for something that I thought I was losing and I was scared. I was scared beyond my wildest dreams.
I don't think that I'm a very insecure person, I mean I am it's natural but not overly so. I'm not really clingy unless I'm tired and I'm not overly jealous. I'm a fairly well-balanced person (Tina might contest this but don't listen to her it's all lies). Anyway, I became an insecure wreck overnight. I had no idea what this meant for my relationship, my future, whether Tina was gay, I was confused. I cried all the time, I tapped into every e-mail account of hers I could to find out what she'd been upto (I found some grotty things but that's a diferent story), I hounded her relentlessly on 'so and so told me this what the hell ahve you been doing you cheat', I shouted at her, it was the last thing I thought about before I went to sleep and the first thing I thought about when I woke up, I even dreamt about Tina. I couldn't bear to look at the clothes I saw her wearing as they only sought to remind me of my hurt. I felt as though we were in this bubble of love and happiness and she'd popped it like a big spoilsport and I guess I was angry and upset that she had taken my nice stable life that away. I had gone off the bloody radar in terms of stability!!
I had a million questions that I barraged Tina with, all the time telling her that it was fine (which by the way it was. it wasn't good it was fine and i use that term loosely although I would NEVER have left her over it)and she answered them honestly, patiently, and with the greatest depth of love and understanding that anybody has ever shown me. She made me feel unconditionally loved, and wanted, and cared for and this definitely helped. She didn't want anything in return from me, she was just so happy that I hadn't left her and that made me feel more secure.
The few weeks after I found were hard, exceptionally hard, on both of us. The initial shock had worn off, Tina knew I wasn't leving her and with a little understnading, time and communication we got through it.
What I want to say is please don't be put off by your loved one's initial reaction. Mine was jolly crap quite frankly and I'm appalled that I acted so horribly. Anyway, it probably won't be how they'll feel in a few days, or even hours, time. Accept their reaction and give them space if they want it but make sure that they know that they haven't lost you, not one bit, that you are still the same person and that you will answer any questions they have as honestly as you can whenever they are ready to talk. I hope for any of you reading this that it's useful. It's not easy writing it, I'm in tears just doing it because it's hard going back to times that were some of our toughest and one's that I've tried to forget about but I will keep writing. It's cathartic for me and it might help you.
I just wanted to add a few things from a Partner's perspective.
Firstly in light of what Tina said about initiating some kind of conversation on TS if you see something on TV for example, whilst I totally agree that this is a really good thing to do in terms of getting a very general indication of how your partner feels it's not the best indication. Tina said that I 'gave mixed remarks' and I probably did but it's very hard to be asked a question, and to answer honestly, when you have never known a TS/TV/TG person. I mean what type of answer is a good answer?? Maybe I'll ask Tina what I should have said!!??
From a partner's point of view, and from yours, finding out that somebody whom you thought you knew isn't quite that person anymore is really really hard. You can run, Tina gave me that opportunity, or you can stay but you can't make that decision up on the spot.
It might help for you to know how I reacted, because believe me it wasn't brilliant. I hope Tina doesn't get upset when she reads this as I don't know if I've ever told her much of this or if I have how much she has listened to (just because he likes to be a she doesn't mean that she listens anymore than Mr Joe Bloggs, she's very male when it comes to the amount of things I tell her that she actually listens to i.e. she hears sod all)!! Anyway here goes:
When Tina told me that she wanted to dress blah blah blah I was shocked. I cried. I had a barrage of questions that need immediate answers and as far as I was concerned she was pretty low on the food chain at that point. I was hurt, confused beyond belief, upset, shocked, sad, insecure, and very angry. I was angry with her for taking away what I had, for taking away the man I wanted to marry and giving me a tranny in return. I was grieving for something that I thought I was losing and I was scared. I was scared beyond my wildest dreams.
I don't think that I'm a very insecure person, I mean I am it's natural but not overly so. I'm not really clingy unless I'm tired and I'm not overly jealous. I'm a fairly well-balanced person (Tina might contest this but don't listen to her it's all lies). Anyway, I became an insecure wreck overnight. I had no idea what this meant for my relationship, my future, whether Tina was gay, I was confused. I cried all the time, I tapped into every e-mail account of hers I could to find out what she'd been upto (I found some grotty things but that's a diferent story), I hounded her relentlessly on 'so and so told me this what the hell ahve you been doing you cheat', I shouted at her, it was the last thing I thought about before I went to sleep and the first thing I thought about when I woke up, I even dreamt about Tina. I couldn't bear to look at the clothes I saw her wearing as they only sought to remind me of my hurt. I felt as though we were in this bubble of love and happiness and she'd popped it like a big spoilsport and I guess I was angry and upset that she had taken my nice stable life that away. I had gone off the bloody radar in terms of stability!!
I had a million questions that I barraged Tina with, all the time telling her that it was fine (which by the way it was. it wasn't good it was fine and i use that term loosely although I would NEVER have left her over it)and she answered them honestly, patiently, and with the greatest depth of love and understanding that anybody has ever shown me. She made me feel unconditionally loved, and wanted, and cared for and this definitely helped. She didn't want anything in return from me, she was just so happy that I hadn't left her and that made me feel more secure.
The few weeks after I found were hard, exceptionally hard, on both of us. The initial shock had worn off, Tina knew I wasn't leving her and with a little understnading, time and communication we got through it.
What I want to say is please don't be put off by your loved one's initial reaction. Mine was jolly crap quite frankly and I'm appalled that I acted so horribly. Anyway, it probably won't be how they'll feel in a few days, or even hours, time. Accept their reaction and give them space if they want it but make sure that they know that they haven't lost you, not one bit, that you are still the same person and that you will answer any questions they have as honestly as you can whenever they are ready to talk. I hope for any of you reading this that it's useful. It's not easy writing it, I'm in tears just doing it because it's hard going back to times that were some of our toughest and one's that I've tried to forget about but I will keep writing. It's cathartic for me and it might help you.
Initial advice before telling your partner
First Video Blog - Just thought that I would post the first video of our blog and say a few words about the initial steps before telling your partner about your feminine side. Or in that case, anybody, be it your family or friends.
I hope this first video isn't too boring, lol and if it's of any value to anybody then indeed we will keep posting them.
Oh yeah, excuse my manly voice but then again what do you expect right..
t-x
I hope this first video isn't too boring, lol and if it's of any value to anybody then indeed we will keep posting them.
Oh yeah, excuse my manly voice but then again what do you expect right..
t-x
Monday, 29 October 2007
Ok, let's begin. Welcome to a little bit of knowledge about myself - tina...aka...dave I bet a lot of people who may read this probably will have never known that that is my real name.
I am 22 years old and was born the usual male. Well, at least i thought I was until I started to dress in my sister's clothes at a young age. I didn't really think there was anything wrong with it as it just seemed kind of normal if you know what I mean. As I moved into my teens the dressing was pretty much the same and I didn't really think anything of it.
I am not sure how I came up with my tina personna and have no clue as to why i chose the name. Yet it has been a few years on and i am stuck with it. Katya has always laughed at me for this and it is jut a little joke we (her) like to tease me over. I don't really remember the time or place when I decided to become a little bit more serious with my dressing and it all seems like a small blur in the past. I do remember always wanting a wig and to see what and if I would look any more feminine if I did have one. I can say without a doubt that a wig is probably the one and most important item that a tgirl will possess unless they have grown their own hair.
Why I can't grow my hair - well...by day I work in the 'Big Smoke' that is London and believe it or not am working my way towards being a solicitor one day. I am currently a paralegal and enjoying it for the moment. It does have its rewards and its downfalls but it is something that I am determined to achieve and therefore I have to forfeit some things such as long hair.
What else to say in this opening blog...
Katya - my friend, my love, my guidance and my support. She has been amazing since she found about tina and has stayed with me through tough times. It has been difficult explaining everything to her about the way I am and it has indeed helped me along the way. I now feel so comfortable within myself and about the way I am and who i am and have no regrets or any strange feelings. In fact I rather like who I am and am proud of it. Why not be different, not many people can vouch to be different in this; being different, in my eyes, is a special key to feeling happy with yourself.
For the moment I would like to say thank you for anybody who is to read this blog and for all the support in the past and future. But personally I would like to thank Katya for being with me at all times.
t-xx
I am 22 years old and was born the usual male. Well, at least i thought I was until I started to dress in my sister's clothes at a young age. I didn't really think there was anything wrong with it as it just seemed kind of normal if you know what I mean. As I moved into my teens the dressing was pretty much the same and I didn't really think anything of it.
I am not sure how I came up with my tina personna and have no clue as to why i chose the name. Yet it has been a few years on and i am stuck with it. Katya has always laughed at me for this and it is jut a little joke we (her) like to tease me over. I don't really remember the time or place when I decided to become a little bit more serious with my dressing and it all seems like a small blur in the past. I do remember always wanting a wig and to see what and if I would look any more feminine if I did have one. I can say without a doubt that a wig is probably the one and most important item that a tgirl will possess unless they have grown their own hair.Why I can't grow my hair - well...by day I work in the 'Big Smoke' that is London and believe it or not am working my way towards being a solicitor one day. I am currently a paralegal and enjoying it for the moment. It does have its rewards and its downfalls but it is something that I am determined to achieve and therefore I have to forfeit some things such as long hair.
What else to say in this opening blog...
Katya - my friend, my love, my guidance and my support. She has been amazing since she found about tina and has stayed with me through tough times. It has been difficult explaining everything to her about the way I am and it has indeed helped me along the way. I now feel so comfortable within myself and about the way I am and who i am and have no regrets or any strange feelings. In fact I rather like who I am and am proud of it. Why not be different, not many people can vouch to be different in this; being different, in my eyes, is a special key to feeling happy with yourself.
For the moment I would like to say thank you for anybody who is to read this blog and for all the support in the past and future. But personally I would like to thank Katya for being with me at all times.
t-xx
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