hello everyone,
i'm so sorry that Tina and I have been so rubbish at writing on here we've just been crazily busy with work, however many a night have i led in bed thinking of all the things that i wanted to say.
The last blog that I posted Tina thought, and actually so did I, that it was a bit of a 'downer'. I didn't mean it to be but I wanted to be honest. I want everyone who's reading it to realise that I didn't take it as well as I could have at first, I was hurt, angry, confused but once we'd worked it out I was fine. I hoped it might be comforting.
Anyway to add to the story I remember the first time that I saw Tina with make-up on. When I first foudn out about Tina I think we both took things a bit too fast, Tina wanted me to see her with make-up on and the full whack but it was hard. I saw Tina with make-up on and I've never told her but it really freaked me out. I felt guilty as hell but it made me realise that if I wanted to progress and really embrace who Tina was I needed to tell her that I needed to slow down. When I first told her hse didn't understand and took it as a rejection on my part but it wasn't, I just needed to do it for the both of us and for our relationship. Our relationship is the most important thing in my life, I can't describe what she means to me because nothing I can say will truly do how I feel any justice, and when we started to take things at my pace we made really good progress and within no time at all I wanted to see Tina fully dresses.
Wow I remember that time. She took ages getting ready while I hid under the bed covers like a loser. When she was ready I couldn't even bring the covers from my eyes, I was so scared and in fits of nervous laughter. I feel so guilty now but I just giggled...she looked amazing. It was crazy when she came over the kiss me, stroking hair when i'd stroke his neck and having hair in my face and lipgloss on her lips. I was awestruck and filled with pride. I can't even explain it. I think that night was the first time we made love as two 'females'.
Since then Tina has dressed on and off, when she wants to it's cool with me. I prefer it if I know about it but I can't say that I'd be too disappointed to be greeted at the door by my girlfriend instead of my boyfriend. To be honest I love Tina and often it's me who instigates her dressing although she never takes much persuading!!
Hmmmm ok I think that's enough for tonight, hopefully Tina and I will put a video of us together with hints and tips on make-up and stuff and i want tina to hurry up and write some stuff and maybe answer in some way what I've wrote. I'd like to know as much as everyone the way she felt at this time in our lives.
Monday, 3 December 2007
Thursday, 1 November 2007
just to add......
i know it's really late and way way past my bedtime but i've been out at a conference with work and have only just had the opportunity to listen to Tina's awesome video hehe.
I just wanted to add a few things from a Partner's perspective.
Firstly in light of what Tina said about initiating some kind of conversation on TS if you see something on TV for example, whilst I totally agree that this is a really good thing to do in terms of getting a very general indication of how your partner feels it's not the best indication. Tina said that I 'gave mixed remarks' and I probably did but it's very hard to be asked a question, and to answer honestly, when you have never known a TS/TV/TG person. I mean what type of answer is a good answer?? Maybe I'll ask Tina what I should have said!!??
From a partner's point of view, and from yours, finding out that somebody whom you thought you knew isn't quite that person anymore is really really hard. You can run, Tina gave me that opportunity, or you can stay but you can't make that decision up on the spot.
It might help for you to know how I reacted, because believe me it wasn't brilliant. I hope Tina doesn't get upset when she reads this as I don't know if I've ever told her much of this or if I have how much she has listened to (just because he likes to be a she doesn't mean that she listens anymore than Mr Joe Bloggs, she's very male when it comes to the amount of things I tell her that she actually listens to i.e. she hears sod all)!! Anyway here goes:
When Tina told me that she wanted to dress blah blah blah I was shocked. I cried. I had a barrage of questions that need immediate answers and as far as I was concerned she was pretty low on the food chain at that point. I was hurt, confused beyond belief, upset, shocked, sad, insecure, and very angry. I was angry with her for taking away what I had, for taking away the man I wanted to marry and giving me a tranny in return. I was grieving for something that I thought I was losing and I was scared. I was scared beyond my wildest dreams.
I don't think that I'm a very insecure person, I mean I am it's natural but not overly so. I'm not really clingy unless I'm tired and I'm not overly jealous. I'm a fairly well-balanced person (Tina might contest this but don't listen to her it's all lies). Anyway, I became an insecure wreck overnight. I had no idea what this meant for my relationship, my future, whether Tina was gay, I was confused. I cried all the time, I tapped into every e-mail account of hers I could to find out what she'd been upto (I found some grotty things but that's a diferent story), I hounded her relentlessly on 'so and so told me this what the hell ahve you been doing you cheat', I shouted at her, it was the last thing I thought about before I went to sleep and the first thing I thought about when I woke up, I even dreamt about Tina. I couldn't bear to look at the clothes I saw her wearing as they only sought to remind me of my hurt. I felt as though we were in this bubble of love and happiness and she'd popped it like a big spoilsport and I guess I was angry and upset that she had taken my nice stable life that away. I had gone off the bloody radar in terms of stability!!
I had a million questions that I barraged Tina with, all the time telling her that it was fine (which by the way it was. it wasn't good it was fine and i use that term loosely although I would NEVER have left her over it)and she answered them honestly, patiently, and with the greatest depth of love and understanding that anybody has ever shown me. She made me feel unconditionally loved, and wanted, and cared for and this definitely helped. She didn't want anything in return from me, she was just so happy that I hadn't left her and that made me feel more secure.
The few weeks after I found were hard, exceptionally hard, on both of us. The initial shock had worn off, Tina knew I wasn't leving her and with a little understnading, time and communication we got through it.
What I want to say is please don't be put off by your loved one's initial reaction. Mine was jolly crap quite frankly and I'm appalled that I acted so horribly. Anyway, it probably won't be how they'll feel in a few days, or even hours, time. Accept their reaction and give them space if they want it but make sure that they know that they haven't lost you, not one bit, that you are still the same person and that you will answer any questions they have as honestly as you can whenever they are ready to talk. I hope for any of you reading this that it's useful. It's not easy writing it, I'm in tears just doing it because it's hard going back to times that were some of our toughest and one's that I've tried to forget about but I will keep writing. It's cathartic for me and it might help you.
I just wanted to add a few things from a Partner's perspective.
Firstly in light of what Tina said about initiating some kind of conversation on TS if you see something on TV for example, whilst I totally agree that this is a really good thing to do in terms of getting a very general indication of how your partner feels it's not the best indication. Tina said that I 'gave mixed remarks' and I probably did but it's very hard to be asked a question, and to answer honestly, when you have never known a TS/TV/TG person. I mean what type of answer is a good answer?? Maybe I'll ask Tina what I should have said!!??
From a partner's point of view, and from yours, finding out that somebody whom you thought you knew isn't quite that person anymore is really really hard. You can run, Tina gave me that opportunity, or you can stay but you can't make that decision up on the spot.
It might help for you to know how I reacted, because believe me it wasn't brilliant. I hope Tina doesn't get upset when she reads this as I don't know if I've ever told her much of this or if I have how much she has listened to (just because he likes to be a she doesn't mean that she listens anymore than Mr Joe Bloggs, she's very male when it comes to the amount of things I tell her that she actually listens to i.e. she hears sod all)!! Anyway here goes:
When Tina told me that she wanted to dress blah blah blah I was shocked. I cried. I had a barrage of questions that need immediate answers and as far as I was concerned she was pretty low on the food chain at that point. I was hurt, confused beyond belief, upset, shocked, sad, insecure, and very angry. I was angry with her for taking away what I had, for taking away the man I wanted to marry and giving me a tranny in return. I was grieving for something that I thought I was losing and I was scared. I was scared beyond my wildest dreams.
I don't think that I'm a very insecure person, I mean I am it's natural but not overly so. I'm not really clingy unless I'm tired and I'm not overly jealous. I'm a fairly well-balanced person (Tina might contest this but don't listen to her it's all lies). Anyway, I became an insecure wreck overnight. I had no idea what this meant for my relationship, my future, whether Tina was gay, I was confused. I cried all the time, I tapped into every e-mail account of hers I could to find out what she'd been upto (I found some grotty things but that's a diferent story), I hounded her relentlessly on 'so and so told me this what the hell ahve you been doing you cheat', I shouted at her, it was the last thing I thought about before I went to sleep and the first thing I thought about when I woke up, I even dreamt about Tina. I couldn't bear to look at the clothes I saw her wearing as they only sought to remind me of my hurt. I felt as though we were in this bubble of love and happiness and she'd popped it like a big spoilsport and I guess I was angry and upset that she had taken my nice stable life that away. I had gone off the bloody radar in terms of stability!!
I had a million questions that I barraged Tina with, all the time telling her that it was fine (which by the way it was. it wasn't good it was fine and i use that term loosely although I would NEVER have left her over it)and she answered them honestly, patiently, and with the greatest depth of love and understanding that anybody has ever shown me. She made me feel unconditionally loved, and wanted, and cared for and this definitely helped. She didn't want anything in return from me, she was just so happy that I hadn't left her and that made me feel more secure.
The few weeks after I found were hard, exceptionally hard, on both of us. The initial shock had worn off, Tina knew I wasn't leving her and with a little understnading, time and communication we got through it.
What I want to say is please don't be put off by your loved one's initial reaction. Mine was jolly crap quite frankly and I'm appalled that I acted so horribly. Anyway, it probably won't be how they'll feel in a few days, or even hours, time. Accept their reaction and give them space if they want it but make sure that they know that they haven't lost you, not one bit, that you are still the same person and that you will answer any questions they have as honestly as you can whenever they are ready to talk. I hope for any of you reading this that it's useful. It's not easy writing it, I'm in tears just doing it because it's hard going back to times that were some of our toughest and one's that I've tried to forget about but I will keep writing. It's cathartic for me and it might help you.
Initial advice before telling your partner
First Video Blog - Just thought that I would post the first video of our blog and say a few words about the initial steps before telling your partner about your feminine side. Or in that case, anybody, be it your family or friends.
I hope this first video isn't too boring, lol and if it's of any value to anybody then indeed we will keep posting them.
Oh yeah, excuse my manly voice but then again what do you expect right..
t-x
I hope this first video isn't too boring, lol and if it's of any value to anybody then indeed we will keep posting them.
Oh yeah, excuse my manly voice but then again what do you expect right..
t-x
Monday, 29 October 2007
Ok, let's begin. Welcome to a little bit of knowledge about myself - tina...aka...dave I bet a lot of people who may read this probably will have never known that that is my real name.
I am 22 years old and was born the usual male. Well, at least i thought I was until I started to dress in my sister's clothes at a young age. I didn't really think there was anything wrong with it as it just seemed kind of normal if you know what I mean. As I moved into my teens the dressing was pretty much the same and I didn't really think anything of it.
I am not sure how I came up with my tina personna and have no clue as to why i chose the name. Yet it has been a few years on and i am stuck with it. Katya has always laughed at me for this and it is jut a little joke we (her) like to tease me over. I don't really remember the time or place when I decided to become a little bit more serious with my dressing and it all seems like a small blur in the past. I do remember always wanting a wig and to see what and if I would look any more feminine if I did have one. I can say without a doubt that a wig is probably the one and most important item that a tgirl will possess unless they have grown their own hair.
Why I can't grow my hair - well...by day I work in the 'Big Smoke' that is London and believe it or not am working my way towards being a solicitor one day. I am currently a paralegal and enjoying it for the moment. It does have its rewards and its downfalls but it is something that I am determined to achieve and therefore I have to forfeit some things such as long hair.
What else to say in this opening blog...
Katya - my friend, my love, my guidance and my support. She has been amazing since she found about tina and has stayed with me through tough times. It has been difficult explaining everything to her about the way I am and it has indeed helped me along the way. I now feel so comfortable within myself and about the way I am and who i am and have no regrets or any strange feelings. In fact I rather like who I am and am proud of it. Why not be different, not many people can vouch to be different in this; being different, in my eyes, is a special key to feeling happy with yourself.
For the moment I would like to say thank you for anybody who is to read this blog and for all the support in the past and future. But personally I would like to thank Katya for being with me at all times.
t-xx
I am 22 years old and was born the usual male. Well, at least i thought I was until I started to dress in my sister's clothes at a young age. I didn't really think there was anything wrong with it as it just seemed kind of normal if you know what I mean. As I moved into my teens the dressing was pretty much the same and I didn't really think anything of it.
I am not sure how I came up with my tina personna and have no clue as to why i chose the name. Yet it has been a few years on and i am stuck with it. Katya has always laughed at me for this and it is jut a little joke we (her) like to tease me over. I don't really remember the time or place when I decided to become a little bit more serious with my dressing and it all seems like a small blur in the past. I do remember always wanting a wig and to see what and if I would look any more feminine if I did have one. I can say without a doubt that a wig is probably the one and most important item that a tgirl will possess unless they have grown their own hair.Why I can't grow my hair - well...by day I work in the 'Big Smoke' that is London and believe it or not am working my way towards being a solicitor one day. I am currently a paralegal and enjoying it for the moment. It does have its rewards and its downfalls but it is something that I am determined to achieve and therefore I have to forfeit some things such as long hair.
What else to say in this opening blog...
Katya - my friend, my love, my guidance and my support. She has been amazing since she found about tina and has stayed with me through tough times. It has been difficult explaining everything to her about the way I am and it has indeed helped me along the way. I now feel so comfortable within myself and about the way I am and who i am and have no regrets or any strange feelings. In fact I rather like who I am and am proud of it. Why not be different, not many people can vouch to be different in this; being different, in my eyes, is a special key to feeling happy with yourself.
For the moment I would like to say thank you for anybody who is to read this blog and for all the support in the past and future. But personally I would like to thank Katya for being with me at all times.
t-xx
Sunday, 28 October 2007
Our Blog!
Hey everyone, this is our blog which we have decided to start together to explain to the world a little bit about who we are and what we are like. We have learnt a lot from other people's experiences and have together decided that maybe others can learn a bit form our experiences. We will both be writing either together or individually and will be asking each other questions, answering them truthfully and in doing so will achieve a complete understanding of one another. We will post pictures of ourselves and have some fun in the process.
Hopefully we can be an inspiration for other couples in our situation.
Thank you,
Tina & Katya
Hopefully we can be an inspiration for other couples in our situation.
Thank you,
Tina & Katya
Can I introduce myself???????
Hi,
Firstly if you're reading this thanks for stopping by our blog! Leave us a message, it's always nice to know who's reading what we write and if it actually matters to anyone!
I know gorgeous tina has already written a brilliant introduction (that actually says pretty much everything me thinks) i just thought i'd come and introduce myself a bit further.
I'm the GG in this relationship if you didn't know that already, the Genetic Girl, the girlfriend, slave, chef, chief ironer, the one that wears the trousers...ok well most of the time I wear skirts....but I'm the born female. I also have a whole manner of other names under my belt but we can talk about those later.
Firstly let me clear something up, I haven't always known about tina. When I first met 'Stud' (that was my nickname for the male tina before we actually got serious) I thought he was, well, normal. I know that's not a PC term and I've since learned that there are a myriad of 'normals' out there but you all know what I mean. I didn't sign up for a tranny girlfriend/boyfriend is what I'm trying to say. He was beautiful. I thought he was the most gorgeous man I'd ever laid eyes on, not to mention the funniest, and I still think that.
I didn't learn about Tina until a long time into our relationship and, even when I did find out, Tina very kindly gave me the 'censored' picture of what was really going on. It was, looking back, probably not the best option on her part but it was difficult for her and for me.
Anyway, now I've cleared that up (it's something that people always ask!), I'll tell you a bit about me. I'm a graduate, a Commercial Surveyor, wannabe rock star/female superhero, currently brunette but usually blonde and believe me being a brunette has not raised my IQ at all. I pay for a gym membership every month, however I rarely manage to go, but I figure that it's the thought that counts so on that thread I go to the gym everyday apart from Sundays. I like food, I love to cook it, I like wine, the colour blue, reading (Vogue, Elle etc...and yes that counts) blah blah blah. I'm not very interesting I'm just an average girl with an 'interesting' boyfriend. Sometimes 'interesting' is not my word of choice, 'pain in the arse' springs to mind but he's usually pretty damn lovely!
Tina started this blog thing up (mainly because I'm crap at working computers) so that we could share our story with people, although I'm not sure if it's you guys who are gonna learn the most about us. I think, maybe, that it's going to be us who learn a lot about eachother. Tina and I communicate well, better than anyone I know, but somehow you always hold something back for a whole variety of reasons. Typing makes it easier, it's like being given a 'license to kill' somewhat, so I hope Tina is ready for the can of worms she may have just opened up haha
I'm not sure what else I can write about my real self here today. I could write blog upon blog upon blog just of all the things that I have in my head and I'm sure over the next few weeks it'll all come out....maybe Tina could write something now about herself and a bit about where she's come from................??
K xx
Firstly if you're reading this thanks for stopping by our blog! Leave us a message, it's always nice to know who's reading what we write and if it actually matters to anyone!
I know gorgeous tina has already written a brilliant introduction (that actually says pretty much everything me thinks) i just thought i'd come and introduce myself a bit further.
I'm the GG in this relationship if you didn't know that already, the Genetic Girl, the girlfriend, slave, chef, chief ironer, the one that wears the trousers...ok well most of the time I wear skirts....but I'm the born female. I also have a whole manner of other names under my belt but we can talk about those later.
Firstly let me clear something up, I haven't always known about tina. When I first met 'Stud' (that was my nickname for the male tina before we actually got serious) I thought he was, well, normal. I know that's not a PC term and I've since learned that there are a myriad of 'normals' out there but you all know what I mean. I didn't sign up for a tranny girlfriend/boyfriend is what I'm trying to say. He was beautiful. I thought he was the most gorgeous man I'd ever laid eyes on, not to mention the funniest, and I still think that.
I didn't learn about Tina until a long time into our relationship and, even when I did find out, Tina very kindly gave me the 'censored' picture of what was really going on. It was, looking back, probably not the best option on her part but it was difficult for her and for me.
Anyway, now I've cleared that up (it's something that people always ask!), I'll tell you a bit about me. I'm a graduate, a Commercial Surveyor, wannabe rock star/female superhero, currently brunette but usually blonde and believe me being a brunette has not raised my IQ at all. I pay for a gym membership every month, however I rarely manage to go, but I figure that it's the thought that counts so on that thread I go to the gym everyday apart from Sundays. I like food, I love to cook it, I like wine, the colour blue, reading (Vogue, Elle etc...and yes that counts) blah blah blah. I'm not very interesting I'm just an average girl with an 'interesting' boyfriend. Sometimes 'interesting' is not my word of choice, 'pain in the arse' springs to mind but he's usually pretty damn lovely!
Tina started this blog thing up (mainly because I'm crap at working computers) so that we could share our story with people, although I'm not sure if it's you guys who are gonna learn the most about us. I think, maybe, that it's going to be us who learn a lot about eachother. Tina and I communicate well, better than anyone I know, but somehow you always hold something back for a whole variety of reasons. Typing makes it easier, it's like being given a 'license to kill' somewhat, so I hope Tina is ready for the can of worms she may have just opened up haha
I'm not sure what else I can write about my real self here today. I could write blog upon blog upon blog just of all the things that I have in my head and I'm sure over the next few weeks it'll all come out....maybe Tina could write something now about herself and a bit about where she's come from................??
K xx
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