just to add......

i know it's really late and way way past my bedtime but i've been out at a conference with work and have only just had the opportunity to listen to Tina's awesome video hehe.

I just wanted to add a few things from a Partner's perspective.

Firstly in light of what Tina said about initiating some kind of conversation on TS if you see something on TV for example, whilst I totally agree that this is a really good thing to do in terms of getting a very general indication of how your partner feels it's not the best indication. Tina said that I 'gave mixed remarks' and I probably did but it's very hard to be asked a question, and to answer honestly, when you have never known a TS/TV/TG person. I mean what type of answer is a good answer?? Maybe I'll ask Tina what I should have said!!??

From a partner's point of view, and from yours, finding out that somebody whom you thought you knew isn't quite that person anymore is really really hard. You can run, Tina gave me that opportunity, or you can stay but you can't make that decision up on the spot.

It might help for you to know how I reacted, because believe me it wasn't brilliant. I hope Tina doesn't get upset when she reads this as I don't know if I've ever told her much of this or if I have how much she has listened to (just because he likes to be a she doesn't mean that she listens anymore than Mr Joe Bloggs, she's very male when it comes to the amount of things I tell her that she actually listens to i.e. she hears sod all)!! Anyway here goes:

When Tina told me that she wanted to dress blah blah blah I was shocked. I cried. I had a barrage of questions that need immediate answers and as far as I was concerned she was pretty low on the food chain at that point. I was hurt, confused beyond belief, upset, shocked, sad, insecure, and very angry. I was angry with her for taking away what I had, for taking away the man I wanted to marry and giving me a tranny in return. I was grieving for something that I thought I was losing and I was scared. I was scared beyond my wildest dreams.

I don't think that I'm a very insecure person, I mean I am it's natural but not overly so. I'm not really clingy unless I'm tired and I'm not overly jealous. I'm a fairly well-balanced person (Tina might contest this but don't listen to her it's all lies). Anyway, I became an insecure wreck overnight. I had no idea what this meant for my relationship, my future, whether Tina was gay, I was confused. I cried all the time, I tapped into every e-mail account of hers I could to find out what she'd been upto (I found some grotty things but that's a diferent story), I hounded her relentlessly on 'so and so told me this what the hell ahve you been doing you cheat', I shouted at her, it was the last thing I thought about before I went to sleep and the first thing I thought about when I woke up, I even dreamt about Tina. I couldn't bear to look at the clothes I saw her wearing as they only sought to remind me of my hurt. I felt as though we were in this bubble of love and happiness and she'd popped it like a big spoilsport and I guess I was angry and upset that she had taken my nice stable life that away. I had gone off the bloody radar in terms of stability!!

I had a million questions that I barraged Tina with, all the time telling her that it was fine (which by the way it was. it wasn't good it was fine and i use that term loosely although I would NEVER have left her over it)and she answered them honestly, patiently, and with the greatest depth of love and understanding that anybody has ever shown me. She made me feel unconditionally loved, and wanted, and cared for and this definitely helped. She didn't want anything in return from me, she was just so happy that I hadn't left her and that made me feel more secure.

The few weeks after I found were hard, exceptionally hard, on both of us. The initial shock had worn off, Tina knew I wasn't leving her and with a little understnading, time and communication we got through it.

What I want to say is please don't be put off by your loved one's initial reaction. Mine was jolly crap quite frankly and I'm appalled that I acted so horribly. Anyway, it probably won't be how they'll feel in a few days, or even hours, time. Accept their reaction and give them space if they want it but make sure that they know that they haven't lost you, not one bit, that you are still the same person and that you will answer any questions they have as honestly as you can whenever they are ready to talk. I hope for any of you reading this that it's useful. It's not easy writing it, I'm in tears just doing it because it's hard going back to times that were some of our toughest and one's that I've tried to forget about but I will keep writing. It's cathartic for me and it might help you.

Initial advice before telling your partner

First Video Blog - Just thought that I would post the first video of our blog and say a few words about the initial steps before telling your partner about your feminine side. Or in that case, anybody, be it your family or friends.

I hope this first video isn't too boring, lol and if it's of any value to anybody then indeed we will keep posting them.

Oh yeah, excuse my manly voice but then again what do you expect right..

t-x